Ways To Never Experience Heartbreak Ever Again

One of the most prominent reasons I hear from people about why they’ve stopped dating, or approach it with brutal skepticism, is that they have been hurt so much in the past that they simply do not trust people anymore or trust that finding happiness is even a possibility.

The problem with this mindset, as one can imagine, is that it leads to a path of self-sabotage and self-fulfilling prophecies. We either stop putting ourselves out there in the first place, which reinforces our idea that it’s impossible to meet people (save the fact that we’re doing nothing to meet them), or, we look for every single tiny thing that could pose an issue down the road, and call it a dealbreaker.

We form defense mechanisms in an attempt to understand how to avoid heartbreak. But what’s required here is self-reflection and a shift in perspective that can keep you moving forward through life’s changes and challenges. Here are five ways to go about this:

Research how your brain’s chemistry works.

I’m going to suck the romance out of dating for a second, and hit you with the factual reality that love and feelings are results of changes in your brain chemistry that directly affect your emotions. A surge in dopamine levels, for example, help you feel affection and a strong bond to the person that you’re dating.

Here’s the rub: when you understand scientifically what’s happening inside of your brain, it helps you keep your perspective when being flooded with chemical releases (literally). You can pause and say to yourself: “I know what’s happening here, and therefore I can better navigate the waters because I’m not getting lost in the storm.”

Continue to enjoy the feeling and enjoy the ride. But this mindset will allow you to keep your head about you when making lifestyle choices that affect your long-term path, when you’ve only just met someone that has your chemistry running wild. As the old saying goes: Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Build a sturdy foundation for your own life.

via GIPHY

Picture the difference between a floating buoy in the water, and an anchor. When a storm hits (let’s say, a chemical storm of dopamine), how will the two different objects be affected?

The buoy will be thrown around and left at the mercy of the storm. It may find itself in a completely different part of the ocean and have no choice but to follow the tides. Someone whose life is completely dependent on the path of their significant other, or their relationship, will find themselves in this position.

We must anchor ourselves in our own life before we enter into a relationship, because this is the only way to remain sturdy and steadfast in our path. Yes, we need to compromise. Yes, we need to be flexible. Yes, we need to grow and evolve as we progress in life, but a complete upheaval of our existence for another person puts our emotional well-being in jeopardy, as we trust another person with it.

Not every relationship is going to work out, and if you’re the buoy, a breakup will leave you lost and confused. But if you’re the anchor, you will float back to your position after being shaken up a bit, and have a much easier time readjusting.

Life is a constant fluctuation of 

shifting circumstances that sw-

irl around you on a daily basis.

If we want to create and mainta-

in happiness in the storm; we’ve

got to be the anchor.